Monday, March 19, 2007


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I have been missing in action for several months. This post is the first post reflecting on a very difficult time in my transition to life as a new nurse. I realized after I looked at this video that one might construe my comments to be critical of my preceptor. This is not the case for me. My preceptor was a lovely and talented nurse who did everything she could to nurture me. The mismatch for me had more to do with the facility itself and the pace there. I am just aware that some other nurses in my class had issues with their preceptors or coworkers.


Blogger missbhavens said...

Oh Monika, I could hug you. Squeeze you till you popped. You've made it through an the unbelievably difficult time in a new nurse's life--the transition between school and work--and lived to vlog about it. You are so, so right: the gap is wide. And it's deep, too, and once you fall in it it's hard to climb out. But you did. You knew that you were not going to be happy working there even though it was interesting as hell and exactly where you wanted to be. Only you know what you can and cannot bear. I have to say, what you describe sounds pretty unbearable, and it mirrors sooooo many new grad's experiences. Mine included. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love the work, but I hate the job. YOU have the strength to bust out and make a move for your own sanity!

Good for you. I'm impressed and I'm proud...and even a little jealous.

I hope you continue to post about your nursing experiences, even if it's only every couple of months! Don't worry, we'll all understand.

11:39 PM  
Blogger Student Nurse Jack said...


Thank you for your frank and brave post. I know that was hard to work up to doing.

Before I quit working in Career #1, my last job was a mistake. I feared it going in, but needed the work. The company that hired me had no clue what it really needed from me - the position was brand new - so their initial job posting did not reflect jobs I would be doing or even call the job an accurate title. I had to learn new things, and like you, am not afraid of hard work.

But it is difficult to try to be a different kind of employee than what you thought you were signing up to be. There were many other factors that figured into my decision to leave that job, then ultimately, that profession.

I felt like a failure. I am not used to not being respected and loved professionally. That was hard, knowing that I had left a job that I didn't kick ass at while there.

I know what you're dealing with now. I think it's wonderful you have something new lined up. That will help you better visualize your path and hopefully bring some of that familiarity back that you hoped to recognize from your days in nursing school.

My preceptorship semester is this summer. I've had some fabulous nurses to work with in clincals, and I've had some that have no business being a nurse. The ones that have welcomed the opportunity to teach me and my peers? I love them. They are the ones that inspire me.

I hope like hell I am assigned one of those, instead of a nurse who doesn't care if I learn anything or, worse yet, one that thrives on making me feel like an idiot. I don't play that game well. I'm 39. I'm old and cranky. I have no patience for that.

If a nurse engages in belittling me or otherwise getting shitty with me in clinical, I have no problem letting him/her know that while I recognize my place as a student, I do not deserve to be treated with disdain. I have the right to be there, just as he/she did however many years ago when they were in nursing school. I say this in so many words and as diplomatically and professionally as possible, of course.

Having said that on the few occassions I've had to, I know that at the end of the day, I'm done with him or her. Preceptorship? Not so much. 150 hours with whomever I'm assigned. I really want it to be a positive experience. I am getting nervous.

Hang in there, and thank you again for giving usnursing students a peek at the real world Floor. You will find your place, you will love it, and your patients will be glad you found each other. Good luck, Monika.

12:20 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Monika, my heart goes out to you. I'm nearing the end of my orientation on a telemetry/critical care floor, and it's easily the hardest job, mentally and physically, I've ever had. Knowing that this wasn't the best fit for you, or the facility, and taking the steps to change that, is admirable, as difficult as coming to that decision must have been for you.
Hugs to you!

But one question - 15 to 16 hour days? Was that expected of staff? I know that after a 12 hour shift, especially an all nighter, I'm fried, and not at my best - patient safety is my primary concern, and I wouldn't feel safe practicing after 12 hours. Doesn't NY have a nursing union (as much as I detest unions, I will have to grudgingly give ours some credit regarding the number of hours a nurse can work).

Good luck with your job quest - there are so many avenues we nurses can take, and the right road for you is out there!

12:28 AM  
Blogger unsinkablemb said...

nurse2b - hang in there! i'm only 2 years out of nursing school so i can completely relate.

my first job out of school and second job (which wasn't nursing) were not a fit, but they did serve a purpose. i learned some great lessons from the experience. i encourage everyone who has moved on from their first nursing jobs to think long and hard about what the "take aways" are.

for me, my experience reiterated my love for what i do as an operating room nurse. it also reminded me that i have a business background and have functioned in the corporate jungle. nursing is just a different jungle.

good luck on your next endeavor...

8:31 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos! Very informative article, keep up the good work!
This blog will be one of the many that I visit everyday.

Best of luck,

4:03 AM  
Blogger kiran said...

This post is very informative and creative. Thanks for your experiential guidance. It will very helpful for who want to became a nurse. Once again thanks.


1:51 AM  

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