Sunday, January 29, 2006

Confluence

con·flu·ence
Pronunciation: 'kän-"flü-&n(t)s
Function: noun
1 : a coming or flowing together, meeting, or gathering at one point
2 a : the flowing together of two or more streams b : the place of meeting of two streams c : the combined stream formed by conjunction

A confluence of events have overtaken me and several of those I love. I can not blog on these events; they do not belong to me. The events converge, washing over my body and soul, carrying me with them like the joining of powerful rivers. I struggle to stay afloat and offer a helping hand. The others are in the river, far deeper than I am, their struggle more desperate; they need my help. Who do I reach out to first? How do we get through? Where has my strength gone? Will I drown? I feel lost. I am ashamed that the thought "why me?" keeps surfacing. Why not me? Or a much better question: "Why them?"

5 Comments:

Blogger A Nuyorican said...

I'm sorry to hear you and your love ones are going through rough times.

Please remember to breathe and meditate for inner strength and peace even if it is for 10 stolen minutes.

At my end, I wish you and yours, peace, understanding, patience and love. My prayers will be with you all.

8:24 PM  
Blogger Birdy said...

Strength to you and yours.

1:15 AM  
Blogger missbhavens said...

I'd tell you to be strong, but I know you already are...it's important for you to remember it, though, so you can use it to help yourself and the people around you, which is your nature.

So, essentially, just keep on being yourself.

4:08 PM  
Blogger Third Degree Nurse said...

I'll hold you and yours in the Light. Hang in there.
And keep breathing.
Deep and slow.

9:46 PM  
Blogger Nurse2B said...

Thank you so much for your sustaining thoughts and words. Today was a better day. It started with being given a plan of action for my Dad, who is one of the three folks I am worried about. It ended with time in the NICU during my Peds rotation. I don't know why, but holding, feeding and looking into the eyes of a 6.5 hr old neonate left me feeling completely transformed.

10:56 PM  

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