Grandmother Update and Last Day at Work

Appologies in advance for a somewhat rambling post. I actually recorded this over a couple of days. I am going through a difficult transition right now. In a way, I am using my vblog as a way to analyze my feelings about it. Vblog as shrink. At the end of this post I say that the good thing about my grandmother's situation is that it will help me be a better nurse/healer/person. I don't want it to sound like I meant that I think my grandmother's suffering is a good thing. Or that it is worth it in someway if it benefits me. I don't. I guess I am just trying to extract some benefit out of a lousy situation.

This is bad - need help from anyone with NYC connections

I wish I could fast forward about two semesters.

My grandmother is in very serious trouble. She called me about two days ago in a panic with intermittent numbness in her right arm. She also had intermittent numbness in the right leg I took her over to her regular doctor. Her pressure was skyrocketing (210/83) so he gave her clonidil to bring it down. He did a VERY perfunctory neuro workup (The nurse practitioner that saw me to do my screening for this fall took about twice as long and did many more tests) and proclaimed she had no neuro symptoms and it was just a transient effect of her high pressure. His attitude towards her was dissmissive and condecending. Like a complete moron, I believed him even though my gut was telling me there was more to this. He doubled her normal dose of atenolol and sent her home with an appointment for follow up Saturday. He also scheduled an MRI for Monday afternoon.

The next morning she calls me in even more of a panic and its worse. I went over to her house. After a while we did decide to go to the emergency room. This turned out to be an all day ordeal - I will spare everyone the details since this community knows more then enough about ERs. Bottom line the cat scan showed nothing, the EKG was "ok" and her BP was 158/79 and pulse ranged between 55 and 61. They decided nothing would be done for her in the hospital over the weekend and discharged her with a Plavix perscription. They said maybe she had had a TIA. I have to agree about weekends- because when my Dad was in the hospital I observed that close to NOTHING special gets done on the weekend unless it is very urgent. My car was parked a little way away and we had to walk over to it (another mistake on my part). She was walking ok in the morning with assistance.

Last night she was dramatically worse. She can not feel her right foot so she can't move it properly. I practically had to carry her to the car and up the stairs to her house. No neuro symptoms- right. Bullshit.

I have not had assessment or patho and I am just as clueless as the next person as to how to help. It's driving me nuts.

So I need a couple of things from my nursing buddies out there:

A doctor-GP or internist that deals with geriatrics and does not suck - is not dismissive, arrogant and condescending. Competance would be a real bonus. In the Ridgewood, Queens area. Maybe I should consider a Nurse Practitioner? If you know a good one please drop me a comment.

A neurologist that meets the same criteria.

A vulcan mind meld of the assesment and patho course so I would have half a clue and not feel so fucking helpless.

Nurse2be Faces the Camera

To be a "real" videoblogger, it seems you have to come out from behind the camera once in a while. Here I am introducing myself and giving a few thoughts on vblogging and my career change.

I am still evolving in my vblogger life so please pardon the unprofessional bits like jostling the camera and that oh so smooth and lovely ending.... (I thought it was kinda funny so I left it...)

Anticipation

Just finished the second summer semester. I am pretty thrilled. Complementary Therapies was a great class! I am ready for a few days "off" to prepare for my first semester as a real, full time, full fledged student nurse. I have my stethoscope, shoes and scrubs, some of my books and my student loans. My last day as a professional computer geek is August 30th. I work part time so that is just five working days from now. I can't believe how fast this day has come. It seems like just yesterday I got acccepted into the program, but of course it has been a year. I am sad to leave my friends at work. They are truly an amazing bunch. At the same time I am so excited to start clinicals and get on the road to becoming a "real" nurse. I had a couple of nurses in my complementary therapies class who are just graduating. They are so very exhausted but happy, elated. It is great to see. It's a tough year ahead, but I know it will be worth it.

Eavesdropping at my favorite Bar/Restaraunt

We have a local place we go to eat pretty regularly. Friday night we overheard this little exchange:

Waiter to some other staff: "God, this music is making me want to kill myself." (It was slow, not particularly bad.)

Waitress, with a cheery smile: "Quit bitching about it, just do it!"

Well, I guess you had to be there, I thought it was pretty funny at the time. Remembered it tonight when I was in another place where the music pretty much made me feel the same way.

Scorcher

I just got back from the gym. Boy it is going to be a scorcher here in NYC today!! Working on paper number two a case study worth 65% of my grade for this class. Aaaargh - run away, run away!!!!

Abigail and Leeloo - Couzzies Meet at Last

My husband's lovely and very talented 5 year old(!) niece Abigail from New Zealand and her mom meet Leeloo, AKA "Supreeme beeing". If you haven't seen the 5th element - rent it and you will get it. The feathers on Leeloo's belly are the same color as the hair on Leeloo's head in the movie. Leeloo has certainly become an essential element in my life.

Seven ...

more working days till I walk out the door for good. I started tossing some old documents and cleaning out some of my drawers at work. Very shortly after starting I found myself physically ill. Then the tears started. I am not sorry to be starting a new life, but there are people I love here... I felt sad all the way home. But then my new nurse shoes and scrubs were here at my house and I remembered I have a purpose. The next three weeks are going to be a bit bumpy.

Writers Block

Aaaaargh. I have a paper due and I just can not get it together. I'm so frustrated!